Writer David Hayes approaches an unusual, some might say even "quirky" subject in the feature story "Die Hard." His backstage look at the production of a commercial brings us to a place few people ever see and contains a "crisis" that even fewer will ever face. Look back over Hayes' advice to feature writers in Chapter 4. How well or poorly does he follow his own advice in writing "Die Hard?"
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Driving the Narrative Through Scenes
Writer David Hayes approaches an unusual, some might say even "quirky" subject in the feature story "Die Hard." His backstage look at the production of a commercial brings us to a place few people ever see and contains a "crisis" that even fewer will ever face. Look back over Hayes' advice to feature writers in Chapter 4. How well or poorly does he follow his own advice in writing "Die Hard?"
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David Hayes followed his own instruction well, but I think he went over the edge with the details of physical descriptions of people and the surrounding environment. Hayes indicated in the chapter that after you've gathered enough material it is important to figure out which details are most important to the story.
ReplyDeleteI think he broke his own rules by over crafting the scene.
Hayes used so much detail about the scene, from the zoological information, to the clothes everyone had on, that I lost the focus of the story.
It seemed to me that Hayes and his associates became so wrapped up in their quest to win an award that they forgot the reader and the client they were trying to help out.
In the chapter on research, Hayes discusses the terms "immersion" and "saturation." I think Hayes was successful at both of them. He followed these people, observing their day-to-day activities as they prepared for the commercial. He provided insight into a topic that most people don't know anything about. I never thought that so much planning and work go into just one little commercial.
ReplyDeleteHayes also suggests that writers can craft scenes by studying movies and TV. I think this was also well done. The day-by-day descriptions seemed like different episodes, all coming together. In the end, I found myself hoping that their commercial would be a success. Hayes made me care, and that's what is most important. I don't think he would have been successful if he hadn't of crafted his story the way he did.
Greg Lindberg
ReplyDeleteHayes stresses the importance of showing the reader something, not telling the reader about it. He clearly does this throughout “Die Hard” as he paints vivid pictures of the individuals involved in making the commercial and the scenes in which they interact with one another. His observation of gestures – such as when one of the producers raises his arms in excitement – drive the emotions home to the reader.
Hayes’ attention to detail is exceptional and almost overwhelms the reader at times, such as what people were wearing and their facial hair. It seems as if Hayes was trying to connect the characters’ physical characteristics with their personalities, but some of these details about their personalities already came through in their quotes and actions. In a way, this story is sort of a movie on paper because it is so rich with description.
Hayes also discusses the importance of observing subjects in their natural environments. In some of the more tense moments of the story, Hayes was obviously sitting back silently and watching the action unfold in front of him. This action would not have occurred so realistically if he were a distraction to the people he was observing.
Hayes writes his advice in chapter four from his experience with the "thrill of the scene" manifesting itself in his own successful writing. I agree with Greg's description of the story being like a movie on paper. His writing cadence and tempo are very smooth reflections of how attentive he is to little details and descriptive scenes in creating a great story.
ReplyDeleteA few things stood out to me in "Die Hard". The one that bothered me most was how the text didn't (for the lack of a better word) flow. It sounded like a textbook at times explaining the process instead of including that seamlessly in the story.
ReplyDeleteAnother was that it seemed the author got lazy after a while. There's a lot of description and dialogue in the beginning and middle but towards the end (especially the first viewing) not so much.
Finally, I didn't feel like the author was a "fly on the wall" when the idea came about.
The story wasn't bad but it could better. Honestly, I think Hayes is better at giving advice than writing his own stories.
To be brutally honest, I did not enjoy reading this feature article. The idea behind the piece is interesting, but Hays’ writing style truly annoyed me. Many of his sentences are extremely long. The last paragraph on page116 has a 51-word sentence and ends with a question. Is that really necessary? While reading I found my self skimming over several sections because of the long, drawn-out sentences.
ReplyDeleteThe enormous amount of details about the production of the commercial bogs down the flow. His descriptions of the characters left much to be desired. The comparison of Lavoie to Billy Corrigan is not creative or unique. He describes Blouin as a trim, striking blonde. Really? There has to be more ways to describe a character besides by the clothes he/she is wearing, facial hair and celebrity look-a-likes.
The dialogue did an excellent job in expressing the characters personality. The quote from Mestel, when he was talking about not having to pay the dead fly residuals, was hilarious. It gave me a sense of his humor and his attitude toward life.
I understand Hayes is trying to follow his own “show, don’t tell” and “God is in the details” advice, but I think he went a little too far.
To give the guy a break, I did enjoy the beginning. Hayes unfolded the storyline in a clean, concise and interesting manner. His first few paragraphs made me want to continue reading. It wasn’t until the end of 2nd page that I let out a big, displeasing sigh.
I agree with Faye. I felt that he was either "reliving the scene" with (just a little) too much description. However, I thought it was useful when he introduced a person to describe his/her physical characteristics, but the daily scenes seemed to drag the story. On the bright side, what I did like was the time in the beginning for each section to give me a form of consistency and a sense of place within the story.
ReplyDeleteHayes followed his own advice effectively in that he had a lot of description that put the reader in the scene he was describing. However, he did this in a very boring way. Too much of the story seemed more like a "how-to" than a story. The descriptions of the scenes were too regurgitative, he was simply retelling us what he saw without adding any creative or grabbing emotion.
ReplyDelete