Students run for cover as a plainclothes police officer, centre, watches on. (Peter McCabe/Canadian Press)On September 13, 2006, eleven Dawson College students were victims of a shooting rampage on the campus of this small Montreal school. Writer Aaron Derfel wrote a strong, captivating feature story for the Montreal Gazette based on that incident. In that story, he displays the kinds of interviewing skills that we have discussed lead to strong anecdotes. After reading "The Fight for Their Lives," find a compelling section of the story. What questions do you think the reporter might have asked to capture the moment or scene?
One of my favorite parts of the story is the exact times people arrived at the hospital. I think it's great that the author thought of putting that in because it's so relevant in that setting. I'm not sure if he would have gotten that through interviews or research, however. Another nice touch was the part when the doctor goes home and cries, which, at least for me, was one of the most touching parts of the story. I'm guessing a question such as "Did the day's events stay with you after you left the hospital?" or "What did you do after you left the hospital?" led to those details.
ReplyDeleteWhile reading this story, lines like "bleeding profusely, absorb the blood and drenched in blood" popped out at me. These lines, used to describe the ER scene, were quite effective while using the repetition of the word blood.
ReplyDeleteThe author could have asked where the actual crime was (at the college) and what it (crime scene) looked like when he interviewed victims in the ER. The only indication where it happened was in his brief description of the shooting of one victim that said it happened in the cafeteria.
Another question could have been to ask anyone if they saw the shooter, Kinveer Gill, commit suicide and what their impression was of that action.
I liked Derfel's anecdotes on the housekeeping staff member. Derfel writes: "Leo Boulanger, a kindly 75-year-old member of the housekeeping staff, threw a hospital drape on the floor to absorb the blood."
ReplyDeleteI think this little anecdote helps to support Derfel's overall message: people working together during a trajedy. It's also a small detail that shows how "kind" this man is. While he couldn't perform life-saving surgery, Leo helped in a special way.
Derfel had to go beyond the main characters to get this information. He didn't just talk to the doctors and nurses. He went deeper. Perhaps he asked who elso helped at the hospital that day. Maybe this question would have led to Leo Boulander. Perhaps he asked if people saw Leo do this. Or maybe he aksked Leo about it himself.
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ReplyDeleteGreg
ReplyDeleteToward the end of the story, a few key details completely capture the emotion of the hospital staff. Razek is quoted as asking himself how many more victims might be coming and whether the trauma unit can take any more patients. Thomas asked herself if they could “cope” and “manage” if more victims arrived.
The fact that Derfel actually quotes what these two doctors were thinking means that he must have asked some very specific questions, such as “What exactly was going through your head during all this?” and “Did you ask yourself anything?” He would not have received such responses had he asked something more general, like “How were you feeling?”
Another excellent touch is the detail about how Khwaja broke down into tears that night when he kissed his wife. This anecdote is packed with details: Khwaja had worked 10 days in a row; he got home at 11:30 p.m.; his wife is 26 years old, pregnant and had graduated from Dawson College's nursing program just recently. Asking about every little detail from this situation – and doing so in a gentle fashion because of the emotion involved – got Derfel the details he wanted for the story.
The way he reconstructs the scenes have the right amount and balance of details and quotes. I'd choose many parts of the story to comment.
ReplyDeleteHe went from the staff to victim's parents for interview. Some information brought details that humanize the story even more: "Leo Boulanger, a kindly 75-year-old member of the housekeeping staff, threw a hospital drape on the floor to absorb the blood." It makes me imagine each person he asked to describe the scene. Instead of just using a quote to humanize, he uses it as part of the description of his own narrative.
Another part is the description of the surgery, when Khwaja tells the resident: "'Next, let's pack the liver,' he told Gholum in a military-style clipped voice." Here, the author mixes and reconstructs the routine with all the emotional in the story. I believe the author just let the doctor and resident describe instead of asking a specific question.
I really like how this story shows the trauma from the hospital staff's perspective. I think some of the main questions he asked each person he interviewed were, "Who else was involved?", "What were they doing?", "What did they say?", etc. which is probably how he discovered Leo Boulanger.
ReplyDeleteI think some of the strongest details, or anecdotes, come from "supporting characters" rather than the main surgeons...
"Leo Boulanger, a kindly 75-year-old member of the housekeeping staff, threw a hospital drape on the floor to absorb the blood."
"As the doctors and nurses stood over the patients, Boulanger, of the housekeeping staff, snaked a mop around their feet to soak up the blood."
I think Boulanger was one of the most powerful details of the story and he was probably discovered by Derfel by accident. Boulanger's role in the story shows how traumatic this event was and how everyone on the hospital staff played a vital role in saving these patients. Derfel probably was talking to one of the nurses or doctors who were triaging the patients and asking about the extent of injuries and what the scene was like when someone mentioned that Boulanger was trying to do what little he could to help out.
I enjoyed the insight on the doctor's and nurse's lives out of their scrubs and gloves. Aaron Derfel's details provided vivid imagery often at times grotesque but not so much that you were not emotionally captivated by the story.
ReplyDeleteYou often hear of stories in regards to doctors and how they are trained to somewhat emotionally detach themselves from situations such as this, and I know many people who just assume doctors are able to numb themselves to these sort of circumstances. However he provided an enlightening glimpse that time and practice does not make these sort of times any easier. "Still, the sight of a nurse's scrubs drenched in blood stunned him..." I don't think emergencies could ever be 'routine'.
I don't think I would change anything about how this was written. I truly feel there was the right amount of details, the right amount of quotes, and the right amount of information to skillfully make a hard news story soft around the corners.
How this guy extracted this much information from such a chaotic and terrible situation is beyond me. His hunger for a compelling story really shines through in his sense of scene and use of sensory details. I picture him persistently asking the doctors what procedures they were performing, then following up with a question on the implications of said procedures. Everyone knows bleeding and gunshot wounds are terrible, but what exactly does it mean for the victim, what are they going to have to go through now? It's terrible, but we can empathize with things like that.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with whoever this is above me that, in the midst of explaining all the details of the action, he still found room to capture a very humanistic and emotional side of the doctors that most don't see. Great story.
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ReplyDeleteAlthough the whole story is compelling to me, I found page 158 striking and memorable. I could feel the urgency and chaos in a short passage. At the beginning of the page, we have victims entering the hospital, patients talking about the event, nurses administrating medicine, news helicopters circling, and doctors examining patients' injuries through the X-ray machine. It may be a typical hospital scene, but the "behind the scenes" changed the way I saw the story -- nurses crying over a student, Anastasia DeSousa; surgeon Kosar Khwaja working in a crowded room. It made me truly care as I felt sympathy and hoped for the best.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I wish the author added quotes to a few scenes for a deeper emotional insight from the victims. The quotes also would've move the story forward. For example, if I read about the four patients talking about the possibility of more than one gunman, I could've felt the intensity, fear and/or excitement at that time.
I loved reading this story. If there was one question or someone to interview, I would interview Yves Morin, the 47-year-old Dawson carpentry worker, who protected a girl from the gunman. "What was going through your mind at that time?" For a stranger to risk his life for a student, there's a story that I've wanted to unfold.
Khwaja's operation on Jessica Albert was a compelling point of the story for me. She had been shot in the chest from only a meter away, and had all kinds of internal and intestinal damage.
ReplyDeleteIt seemed like the writer asked Khwaja questions like, what were you thinking when you were performing the operation.
What kinds of things were you looking for?
What injuries could you have found that would have been life threatening?
How was Jessica reacting to having been shot in the chest?
What were you thinking when Jessica's parents arrived.
How did this patient and this surgery affect you?
The last question might have brought about the anecdote about his pregnant wife that just graduated from Dawson a few months earlier.
This bit of information brought about all kinds of scary possibilities that ran through the reader's mind. These thoughts provoked by including that part brought me even further into the story, understanding how each person's life was affected that day at the college and at the hospital.